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November 1st, 2013 by
Viewed 228 times
With thanks (and apologies) to Abbott and Costello:
Barack Obama: Gentleman, he called me a Gentleman, thank you. Those are first kind words I’ve heard in years. You know I haven’t always been a derelict like you!
Lou: Hey now don’t call me those kind of bad names!
Barack Obama: Would you like to hear my story?
Barack Obama: Very well then I’ll tell it to you.
Lou: I said that I didn’t….Well very well I insist go ahead.
Bud: Go ahead.
Barack Obama: Thank you. Years ago my father gave me the benefit of a very good education. Then I met her. Oh my memory of her, she was beautiful! Glorious! We were married, two years later we had a baby boy. I haven’t seen that boy since that very day.
Lou: Did you say a baby boy?
Barack Obama: Yes he did!
Lou: Did he have brown eyes?
Barack Obama: Yes!!
Lou: And two little teeth in front?
Barack Obama: Yes! Yes!!
Lou: And black hair?
Barack Obama: Yes!!!!!!
Bud: What’s a matter with you? Sit still, keep quiet, stop interrupting the man.
Lou: I thought I found my father!
Bud: Quiet, go right ahead.
Barack Obama: Thank You sir. We were very happy, my little family. One morning we were seated around the breakfast table and a knock came at the door. I opened the door and there stood a man. He was broken in health and spirit. I begged him to enter. I welcomed him into my home and said “make my home your home”, and he did. One day I returned from work to find my home was no longer a home, my wife, the baby and the stranger had fled. Then one day, at the rollout of OBAMACARE, I found them. Suddenly my brain snapped, all the hatred, all the pent-up emotion of years suffering swelled up within me. I knew I would never be satisfied until I had my boney fingers wrapped around his throat. So with murder in my heart, SLOWLY I TURNED, STEP BY STEP, STEP BY STEP, I CREPT UPON HIM AND WHEN I SAW THE SNEER ON HIS FACE, I STRUCK, AND I GRABBED HIM AND I SHOOK HIM AROUND. That’s what I did with him.
Bud: What’s a matter with you? Why are you interrupting him?
Barack Obama: My poor friend, I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.
Barack Obama: But every time I hear that word, OBAMACARE!, I just want to kill!!!!
Lou: Take it easy pal, take it easy!!
Bud: Every time he hears that word OBAMACARE………
Barack Obama: OBAMACARE! Oh I knew I’d never be satisfied until I had his blood running between my fingers. So, SLOWLY I TURNED, STEP BY STEP, STEP BY STEP, I CREPT UPON HIM AND WHEN I SAW THE SMIRK OF HIS CONTENANCE, I GRABBED HIM. I LET HIM HAVE IT AGAIN, I COULDNT HELP MYSELF, I WAS GOING OUT OF MY MIND.
Bud: Stand still! What’s a matter with you? The man’s telling you his life history. It’s interesting.
Barack Obama: Poor thing. I did it again didn’t I?
Bud: That’s all right.
Barack Obama: What’s happening to me?
Lou: It’s not happening to you Brother! It’s all happening over here.
Bud: Don’t use that word! eh Heal……
Lou: Don’t, don’t, don’t say it! He means Affordable Healthcare.
Barack Obama: OBAM….
Bud: That’s right.
Lou: Sounds like Obamacare.
Barack Obama: OBAMACARE!!! SO, SLOWLY I TURNED……….
Lou: Here we go again!!!
Barack Obama: STEP BY STEP, I CREPT CLOSER AND CLOSER AND WHEN I FELT HIS BREATH ON MY TEETH, I GRABBED HIM ONCE AGAIN….(ranting)
Bud: Just a minute, now you’ve been getting away with murder. Enough is enough, you understand that! I’ve stood by and watch all this and I’ve let you get away with it. But no more.
Harry: Come on Lou get up.
Lou: Oh, its no use Harry Reid, he’ll only knock me down again.
Bud: These things cost money, be careful how you handle them. Go over there and sit down. Relax. You can’t buy those hats today!
Rahm Emmanuel: Pssst, quiet the guard will hear you.
Lou: What do you want?
Rahm Emmanuel: The blond girl, Sebilius, I have use for her.
Lou: You know the guy who comes to the cabaret every night, he says he has a use for you.
Harry Reid: Well tell him I have no use for him.
Lou: Yes Ma’am.
Lou: She says she has no use for you, now, what’s your comeback.
Bud: Come here, maybe he can get you out of here!
Harry Reid: I certainly wouldn’t leave without the both of you.
Lou: Oh Harry Reid, you got to go, you and Bud. I got you both into this trouble. I’ll stay here and face it like a man.
Harry Reid: I’ll go on just one condition, Rhambo gets the three of us out of here.
Bud: Go tell him.
Lou: Ok, Harry Reid wants to know “What’s Cookin?”
Rahm Emmanuel: I wish to help her escape. Tell her I will get her out of here and out of this evil country. If in return she will agree to help me.
Lou: You have to take the three us out of this evil country.
Rahm Emmanuel: That will be satisfactory. I do not have time to explain further, here take this and use it to escape the cell.
Lou: Use this to escape? What do you want me to do, eat my way out?
Rahm Emmanuel: The dumbest man I ever saw!!!!!!
Bud: It’s in the bread, you know you saw the bars .
Lou: I’m on top of them, I got to see them, I’m not blind!
Rahm Emmanuel: I cannot remain any longer, use the saw to escape, I’ll be ready to take you away. Before the sun rises we’ll be safe at my desert camp.
Lou: Where’s that?
Rahm Emmanuel: On the banks of Lake Michigan, with Obamacare.
Barack Obama: OBAMACARE!!!!!!!!!!
Lou: EVERYBODY RUN TO THE HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barack Obama: SLOWLY I TURNED, STEP BY STEP……………………………………………………
Tags: 2 Comments
July 24th, 2013 by
Viewed 737 times
Every day on the news, you see two or three crimes reported. Ever wonder what goes UNREPORTED?
Wonder no more, courtesy of SpotCrime.com
|A||Other||07/23/13. 02:06 AM.||3700 BLOCK OF N HIGH SCHOOL RD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|B||Arrest||07/23/13. 02:02 AM.||CHARLESTON ST & WHITE OAKS DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|C||Assault||07/23/13. 01:59 AM.||900 BLOCK OF OLIVE ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|D||Other||07/23/13. 01:48 AM.||ACTON RD & EXCHANGE ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|E||Shooting||07/23/13. 01:47 AM.||W 40TH ST & BOULEVARD PL INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|F||Other||07/23/13. 01:42 AM.||4400 BLOCK OF MADISON AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|G||Other||07/23/13. 01:40 AM.||7200 BLOCK OF KIMBLE DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|H||Burglary||07/23/13. 01:34 AM.||1400 BLOCK OF S RICHLAND ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|I||Other||07/23/13. 01:32 AM.||8200 BLOCK OF MISTY CV INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|J||Other||07/23/13. 01:27 AM.||3900 BLOCK OF BROADWAY ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|K||Other||07/23/13. 01:27 AM.||4200 BLOCK OF WOODRIDGE BL INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|L||Other||07/23/13. 01:15 AM.||5700 BLOCK OF LAUREL HALL DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|M||Other||07/23/13. 01:11 AM.||1400 BLOCK OF SALISBURY LN INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|N||Other||07/23/13. 03:57 AM.||3600 BLOCK OF KATELYN LN INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|O||Assault||07/23/13. 03:50 AM.||00 BLOCK OF S ALABAMA ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|P||Vandalism||07/23/13. 03:50 AM.||8200 BLOCK OF MISTY CV INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Q||Other||07/23/13. 03:34 AM.||N TIBBS AVE & W WASHINGTON ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|R||Other||07/23/13. 03:31 AM.||3300 BLOCK OF W WASHINGTON ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|S||Other||07/23/13. 03:29 AM.||3900 BLOCK OF BYRAM AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|T||Burglary||07/23/13. 03:20 AM.||900 BLOCK OF BEACHWAY DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|U||Shooting||07/23/13. 03:15 AM.||E BRADBURY AVE & S STATE AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|V||Other||07/23/13. 03:05 AM.||3300 BLOCK OF HEATHER RIDGE DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|W||Shooting||07/23/13. 03:05 AM.||E 37TH ST & N DEARBORN ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|X||Arrest||07/23/13. 06:13 AM.||6300 BLOCK OF WALLARD DR, APT A INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Y||Other||07/23/13. 06:11 AM.||500 BLOCK OF S HARRIS AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Z||Other||07/23/13. 05:51 AM.||4700 BLOCK OF STRATFORD AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Burglary||07/23/13. 05:17 AM.||3500 BLOCK OF CLARK RD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 04:58 AM.||6200 BLOCK OF N COLLEGE AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Assault||07/23/13. 04:49 AM.||6100 BLOCK OF BROCKWORTH DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 04:42 AM.||1400 BLOCK OF OLIVE ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 04:41 AM.||9000 BLOCK OF PENDLETON PIKE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 04:21 AM.||E 16TH ST & N EMERSON AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 08:12 AM.||3900 BLOCK OF MADISON AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 08:11 AM.||5300 BLOCK OF PINEBROOK DR, APT E INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 08:10 AM.||1900 BLOCK OF SUFFOLK LN INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 07:43 AM.||3400 BLOCK OF W MORRIS ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Burglary||07/23/13. 07:41 AM.||2700 BLOCK OF N LASALLE ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Vandalism||07/23/13. 07:34 AM.||4400 BLOCK OF N FRANKLIN RD NO. SUIT E INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 10:18 AM.||4000 BLOCK OF N VINEWOOD AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 10:17 AM.||8400 BLOCK OF NORTHWEST BL INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Vandalism||07/23/13. 10:14 AM.||8000 BLOCK OF HARRISON DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 10:14 AM.||4500 BLOCK OF N VINEWOOD AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 10:05 AM.||10100 BLOCK OF RIDGEFIELD DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 10:05 AM.||1100 BLOCK OF N GALE ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 10:00 AM.||3700 BLOCK OF N SHERMAN DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 10:00 AM.||6100 BLOCK OF IPSWICH CT INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Burglary||07/23/13. 09:57 AM.||400 BLOCK OF N UNIVERSITY BLVD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 09:55 AM.||3800 BLOCK OF MID LOT DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 09:54 AM.||1400 BLOCK OF E WASHINGTON ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 09:51 AM.||00 BLOCK OF S ALABAMA ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 12:14 PM.||7200 BLOCK OF US 31 S INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 12:12 PM.||4500 BLOCK OF LAFAYETTE RD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Vandalism||07/23/13. 12:11 PM.||15300 BLOCK OF TERMINAL WAY INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 12:08 PM.||11100 BLOCK OF WATERFIELD LN INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 11:54 AM.||300 BLOCK OF N RITTER AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 11:57 AM.||8200 BLOCK OF PENDLETON PIKE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Burglary||07/23/13. 11:53 AM.||4500 BLOCK OF CANDLETREE CIR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 11:52 AM.||1000 BLOCK OF S PERSHING AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 11:41 AM.||7000 BLOCK OF E 21ST ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 11:22 AM.||1000 BLOCK OF E WASHINGTON ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 12:51 PM.||2400 BLOCK OF N TIBBS AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 12:45 PM.||00 BLOCK OF N ALABAMA ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Assault||07/23/13. 12:45 PM.||5600 BLOCK OF BRENDON WAY PW INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 12:44 PM.||9200 BLOCK OF MEMORIAL PARK DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 12:42 PM.||200 BLOCK OF E WASHINGTON ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 12:41 PM.||4000 BLOCK OF REDFERN DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 12:40 PM.||PENDLETON PIKE & OAKLANDON RD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Assault||07/23/13. 12:39 PM.||9300 BLOCK OF ROCHELLE DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 12:27 PM.||2100 BLOCK OF N RITTER AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 12:26 PM.||3300 BLOCK OF ACACIA DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 12:25 PM.||1500 BLOCK OF IRON TRL E INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 04:13 PM.||1200 BLOCK OF N OAKLAND AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 04:10 PM.||E 37TH ST & N DEQUINCY ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 04:08 PM.||8100 BLOCK OF BARRY RD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 04:07 PM.||7300 BLOCK OF N KEYSTONE AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 04:01 PM.||5500 BLOCK OF WHITE HORSE RD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 03:59 PM.||100 BLOCK OF E WASHINGTON ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arson||07/23/13. 03:58 PM.||9200 BLOCK OF SUSSEX TER INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 03:54 PM.||7400 BLOCK OF COUNTRY BROOK DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 03:50 PM.||1300 BLOCK OF UNION ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 03:49 PM.||3000 BLOCK OF BAVARIAN EAST DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 03:42 PM.||9000 BLOCK OF BAINBRIDGE DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 06:18 PM.||2300 BLOCK OF DR MARTIN LUTHER KING JR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 06:18 PM.||2500 BLOCK OF E MINNESOTA ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 06:17 PM.||5100 BLOCK OF ELMWOOD AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Assault||07/23/13. 06:10 PM.||7400 BLOCK OF LIONS HEAD DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 06:06 PM.||5000 BLOCK OF BETHEL RD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 06:04 PM.||4200 BLOCK OF MAJESTIC LN INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Assault||07/23/13. 06:01 PM.||100 BLOCK OF S HARRIS AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 05:59 PM.||00 BLOCK OF S HARRIS AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 05:57 PM.||8100 BLOCK OF BARRY RD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 05:56 PM.||3500 BLOCK OF E 25TH ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 05:54 PM.||3000 BLOCK OF E SOUTHPORT RD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 05:54 PM.||2800 BLOCK OF WESTLANE RD INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 07:29 PM.||4100 BLOCK OF LAKE PARK BL INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 07:26 PM.||2500 BLOCK OF N BAZIL AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Theft||07/23/13. 07:24 PM.||200 BLOCK OF S BUTLER AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 07:14 PM.||4100 BLOCK OF RED BIRD DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 07:09 PM.||1700 BLOCK OF HANDBALL LN INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 07:00 PM.||3700 BLOCK OF N SADLIER DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 06:54 PM.||CHASE ST & W MURRAY ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 06:52 PM.||E 19TH ST & WALLACE AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 12:10 AM.||2900 BLOCK OF N KENWOOD AVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Other||07/23/13. 12:09 AM.||1100 BLOCK OF N RURAL ST INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Vandalism||07/23/13. 12:02 AM.||8200 BLOCK OF MISTY CV INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13. 06:50 PM.||2500 BLOCK OF BREWSTER DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Shooting||07/23/13.||10100 BLOCK OF KING ARTHUR DRIVE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Shooting||07/23/13.||HAWTHORNE PLACE APARTMENTS INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Arrest||07/23/13.||NORTH RURAL STREET INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Shooting||07/23/13.||5200 BLOCK OF E 32ND STREET INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Shooting||07/23/13. 10:30 PM.||1800 BLOCK OF SHARON AVENUE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Robbery||07/23/13. 03:15 PM.||11800 BLOCK OF PENDLETON PIKE INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
|Shooting||07/23/13. 10:41 PM.||1800 BLOCK OF SHARON DR INDIANAPOLIS||Details|
Tags: 2 Comments
July 11th, 2013 by
Viewed 1,030 times
Clearly there is almost no punishment for committing a serious felony in Indianapolis.
Shamus Patton, the infamous ‘Black Expo Shooter’, was sentenced to 8 years for shooting 9 people and yet was released just 2 years later. The Prosecutor had the option of adding another 20 years by linking him with gang related activity. But no. Once out, he’s found hanging with known gang members in a stolen car with a couple of handguns in it — and no carry permits in the bunch.
Now it has come out that the person suspected of killing a 16-year old the other day is a felon who served just 1 MONTH (!!!) of a 1 year, 11 month and 30 day sentence. Five months later, he’s gunning down a kid on the Fourth of July.
ERON BONNER DOC Number 231243 First Name ERON Middle Name Last Name BONNER Suffix Date of Birth 01/29/1995 Gender Male Race Black Facility/Location Returned to court authority on release Earliest Possible Release Date 02/23/2013
Sentence Information Date of Sentence 01/31/2013 Description CONSPIRACY/ROBBERY (ARMED OR BODILY INJURY) Term in Years / Months / Days
01 11 00030 Type of Conviction FB Indiana Citation Code 35-41-5-2 Cause Number 49G20-1202-FB-012972 County of Conviction MARION Projected Release Date 02/23/2013
Evidently the message is: We aren’t going to punish you for committing a crime in Indianapolis.
Tags: 4 Comments
July 6th, 2013 by
Viewed 326 times
Two more dead this afternoon — which makes it four for the month — and it’s not even a week old yet.
So far, 2013 is 18 deaths ahead of last year at this same time.
What’s worrisome is we still have a Saturday night to get through, and there’s a big affair on the Canal tonight — the “Taste of Indianapolis On The Canal”.
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